Revision Reflection for Visual Analysis (Assign. #4):

On the revision of my assignment four, I took my professor’s advice and also peer’s comments to guide me through the process of revising my paper. On this paper, I choose to analyze an advertisement of a woman version of the Arjuna Yoga Centre. 

My focus and thesis statement on the first copy of my visual analysis was located in the wrong place so I had to relocate it into the introduction to make sense of my overall topic. Because many times on my paper I would refer to specialized knowledge of my audience, it is important that I am being careful of using general terms. For an example, I was talking about a Sanskrit names of the poses assuming that my audience knew what that was and my professor noted that most people don’t practice yoga and there is a high chance that they don’t know the name of that particular pose. The process here taught me that my audience wouldn’t necessary know the things that I bring up and I needed to clarify meaning of terms and loan-works if necessary.

Overall, my visual rhetorical analysis in the re-write was effective; my argument was more clear and well-supported with evidence from the visual and from other sources as well. Different from the first copy, I “addressed the ethical element that was used for the advertisement with a critical and balances perspective” as my professor had commented. I felt the same on my re-write on those elements too but I was not sure about how much I’ve improved for my style and grammar.

Another main issue that was found throughout my revision process was my style and grammar and I was encouraged to look through Everyday Writer and seek help at Writing and Media Center. This will assist me in identifying areas where phrasing and word choice are unclear or confusing.